Admitting that we are powerless… Hmmm, at first sight this seems like defeat. Most people like to believe that the people places and things around them are under their control. Especially the addictive behaviour of someone we love, or who is dear to us. Powerlessness seems to turn the word into a scary place, filled with unpredictable uncertainties and hurt. And we don’t like that.But we can turn this view on reality into a more positive perspective.
Let’s not put ourselves at the center of the world, but let the world around us be what surrounds us and embraces us. It makes it so much easier to realize that we are in fact powerless. Powerless over the weather and accidents, powerless over the sudden heart attack that strikes a seemingly healthy and fit person. Powerless over millions of years of evolution. Powerlessness is obviously a natural state in the order of the universe. So why hang on to this insane belief that we can control anything.
Therefore, admitting that we are powerless is not a sacrifice or something to feel guilty or ashamed about.
In my opinion the reason we find it so hard to let go of the illusion of control is that most of us have been trying to wield power over the addict (or people in general) in their live for so long (sometimes many years), that admitting powerlessness now, implies admitting that all the efforts and ‘sacrifices’ we have made to control, change or cure the other, have been in vain.
How wonderful it is, to be aware of the pointlessness of this never-ending battle against alcoholism, addiction or unhealthy habits. The relief in accepting this truth is immense. The serenity it creates in our hearts and minds makes up so easily for our insane behaviour of the past.
It is not surprising therefore that admitting that we are powerless is part of the first step towards recovery.